Tuesday and Wednesday were quite busy, so now is the first Verschnaufpause I’ve had. It is a Bank Holiday today – Fronleichnam (Corpus Christi) – which means a welcome break from the 6am alarm clock.
Tuesday involved a visit to my physio guy – barefoot guru. He seems to know his stuff: physiotherapists are not generally trained in jaw treatment and that obviously means that they need to know their stuff.
I’ve learned an awful lot whilst being there and it is not something I would ever have been interested in, off my own bat, so to say. This week was extremely relaxing, which I needed, as all else around me is very hectic.
Guru keeps telling me to avoid stress; however, I am not actively choosing to create stress in my life. It just follows me around at the moment. There are no elements I could switch off to make life quieter. Everything happening is happening whether I like it or not, so I need to do my best to deal with it. (Therefore, a session on the physio’s table is not unwelcome, simply for the opportunity to keep still and quiet for a short time.)
Wednesday was a rare chance to meet up with an old friend (my bridesmaid) and to chew the fat. She knew Mum, she knows about all the family stuff and she is a keen New Ager, so we had plenty to discuss. Her opinions involve lots of TCM/esoteric input, and while I am more of a fan of local TEM, it means we have a lot to chat about.
We spent the time in a local Heuriger – these taverns are very traditional, serving only local food and wine – and I was able to give my full attention to some great Zweigelt and soft food: Leberknödelsuppe, Erdäpfelschmarrn and Schwarzwurzelsalat. (In case you are interested: liver dumplings in beef consommé, refried potatoes and salsify salad.) It was all extremely yummy and did not involve active chewing, just squashing with help from the tongue.
Talking for so long with my friend was a strain on my jaw, but worth every minute. Unfortunately it reminded me that the op is not so long away and yes, I am nervous. I trust my surgeon, but I am nervous of having my face altered so drastically. I have no idea what talking, eating and breathing will be like afterwards and wish I had someone in my circle of acquaintances I could interview. Someone else who is not doing an operation like this for cosmetic reasons, but for medical ones. I keep meeting criticism for my choice in going ahead with this treatment and I want to yell from the rooftops (instead I am pleading via a keyboard) that I am only doing this so that I can carry on being fit and healthy for my kids.
I hope I will be able to be a great-grandmother for them one day – one who takes her grandchildren out, with their grandfather and is able to be part of an extended family.
Speaking of grandmothers: my children wanted me to wear my shower cap out in public as a swimming cap (see below) which I thought twice about. Then I bought a grey swimming cap.
(FYI: the candle pictured is burning now as I write. It is called Bergwelt and reminds me of the depth of the clear air far away from here, in the mountains, where you and I are just specks in the whole scheme of things.)